I'm easing you in at the shallow end with this one. At least these two are the same species and fandom.
Right. This little beauty can be found at fanfiction.net and features Sonic the Hedgehog exploring his sexuality with his rival - Shadow. The inventive spelling, grammar and vocabulary of the writer and the fact that all of it is underlined only serves to add to the baffling nature of the fic.
I have picked out the 'highlights' here, but go ahead and read the whole thing if you want to. Clicking the title of this entry will lead you there, and I've linked it at the bottom of the post too. This is actually the second chapter of the fic, but considering the content, there's not really much storyline to catch up on.
Okay, we start out with Sonic and Shadow having a "guy" talk. Shadow has something to reveal, and Sonic is interested to discover this shocking revelation...
"Wha?! Shadow...your gay to?!" Sonic started suddenly as he stared at Shadow wide eyed.
"Huh....gay to?" Shadow echoed Sonics words.'My gay to where?!' Shadow is evidently wondering.
Could it be? Shadow...gay? Even if he truly was...what made Sonic think it was him he had a crush on? Sonic could only hope it was him....he waited with baited breathe
"Hmph...I think you know for yourself who I have a thin for..." Shadow muttered and looked at Sonic evilly.
Sonic stared back...he felt scared...and somehow vulnerable....but enthralled all at the same time.....Sort of how this fic makes me feel, funnily enough.
Who does Shadow have a thin for? Well, it's not long before we find out:
"Tell me...Sonic" He pronounced his name slowly and carefully...letting it roll off his tongue "have you ever touched another guy?" he set his hand firmly on Sonic's thigh and gave it a playful squeeze.
At this point, the author chooses to break the beautifully built-up tension to offer us a final warning:
"Lemon" being a term for unashamedly pornographic content. Usually lacking any semblance of a plot. I for one am glad that the author offered this warning, because the "have you touched another guy?" and the playful thigh-squeezing happens on a regular basis in the Sonic universe. So I'd have been totally shocked to see that develop into something sexual.
"Well...I think about it sometimes...."
"Yeah? Wanna touch me?" with that said Shadow promptly leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sonics.Not... actually given him much choice there, have you Shadow? You brazen hussy!
Cue Sonic's internal struggle, does he want it, doesn't he? But it turns out he does and they do some more fondling.
"Mmm...Shadow what are you?" Sonic started with surprise as he felt a firm hand clasp over his ass
A freakin' hedgehog! That's what he is! But the writer seems to be ignoring the fact that s/he is sexualising hedgehogs.
"Does my little hedgie like that?" Shadow asked
No, wait. S/he isn't. D:
Sonic does like that, and starts moaning/spasming/etc and Shadow starts having some fun with Sonic's "member." You know it's a good bad-fanfiction when the word "member" is used. It's used more than once in this one. Excellent.
Shadow smiled inwardly to himself, Sonic was a fairly decent size...about 6 inches...not to big...not to small.
That's quite specific. And do I even want to bring up the scale issues involved here? How big is an average cartoon hedgehog? Surely six inches is terrifyingly large for a penis, in comparison to his body?
..Yup, best not think about it.
Back in the fic, things are getting more heated, and Sonic... reaches his little hedgehog climax.
Slowly Shadow lifted his hand up to his mouth and smelled it. It smelt...salty. He tentatively licked it and smiled in approval before licking his furry hand clean.
Just... just NO. Nobody needs to hear that!
Thankfully, the writer ends it there, launching straight into their finishing comments:
"Whew....that was hard to write...i'm thinking of adding a 3rd chapter soon with a real hardcore lemon in."
Oh, great. Because I was just thinking about how this one wasn't quite hardcore enough.
Always worth reading. This one has two reviews. One offering praise, the other a bit of creative crit:
"That was pretty good! you definitely have a gift. just make sure to add a little story line too. Lemons are nice but what people really love is drama. the essence of story is conflict."
A "GIFT?!" Yeah, okay then. Go ahead and call it that. Personally, I'd paraphrase and call it "serious mental issues."
LINKS: [The fic] - SonXShad Greenhill fun by Specopsangheili
[Japanese site stating Sonic's official height.. Which appears to be 100cm. Oh boy.] - http://sonic.sega.jp/chara/sonic/